+ ARTICLE I. YOUR IRONCLAD PAN
This contract outlines the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd.’s commitment to replace your Ironclad Legacy Cookware for three generations, or 100 years, from the date of purchase.
As it turns out, offering a genuine 100 year guarantee was almost as difficult as making a product that would last that long. But we’re proud to say we did it. And you’re holding it.
I. a) Will the cookware really last 100 years?
Yep. Our trademark design is the result of lots of love, lots of cooking, and some pretty punishing research. Our cookware has been engineered to survive 100 years of daily use (based on three meals per day, for three generations).
I. b) What if I lose the guarantee in the next 100 years?
We are so confident in the quality of every piece of Ironclad Legacy Cookware, we have cast the details of your three generation guarantee in iron. Check the underside. That’s just in case you lose this contract.
I. c) Why doesn’t it look like other cast iron products?
Every piece of Ironclad Legacy Cookware comes unseasoned. This is what all other cast iron looks like before they have had any factory treatments. Often those treatments include chemicals and dyes. And, no surprise, they make their way into the food you prepare. By providing an unseasoned product, you get the chance to see and control what goes into the preparation. We have included all you’ll need to season it, and have provided instructions online. It only has to be done once for the lifetime of the cookware. Then, like a fine wine, your Ironclad Legacy Cookware will naturally get better with age.
I. d) Is my cookware solid iron or ironclad?
It is 100% cast iron. ‘Ironclad’ is just a clever name we came up with that we now have to explain a lot. The high-grade iron was selected based on its weight and ability to age. With the right preparation, and some daily care, the T100 iron will change from a golden bronze, to a rich dark black. And become more uniquely receptive to your style of cooking.
+ ARTICLE II. YOUR FAMILY RECIPE VAULT
To help collect and protect your family recipes, you have automatic access to a Family Recipe Vault. There is no obligation to use it, but it’s a handy way to share meals, recipes, and tips with your existing family, and the ones to come. Once you have set up your Family Recipe Vault, we will safely store your stories, videos, photos, cooking tips, and secret family recipes for the next generation. You can even publish a family cookbook directly from your Family Recipe Vault.
II. a) What happens to the data from my Family Recipe Vault?
All recipes stored will only be made available to the people you choose to share them with. We will not share your data without your permission. Any recipe you upload will be locked away unless you choose to make it public, or invite friends or family to access your Family Recipe Vault.
II. b) How many Family Recipe Vaults do I need?
We recommend one Family Recipe Vault for your entire extended family. Even if everyone in your family has their own Ironclad Pan or piece of Legacy Cookware—which would be tremendous—one Family Recipe Vault is ideal. It’s a great daily resource for meal planning, cooking tips, and go-to recipes. And, most importantly, it’s a great way for everyone in your family to collate and archive your entire culinary history for future generations.
II. c) Who pays for storing our Family Recipe Vault?
Every piece of Ironclad Legacy Cookware comes with three generations of paid storage. If your family has more than one Ironclad product, you can bundle your storage — up to 100 years per Family Recipe Vault. Essentially, it will always be free.
II. d) What happens to my Family Recipe Vault if Ironclad closes?
If, for whatever reason, Ironclad Pan Company Ltd. shuts its doors, storage will be covered for your Family Recipe Vault for the duration you have subscribed to. This will give you ample time to print your culinary family history into a cookbook, or transition to another storage provider.
II. e) What happens to my Family Recipe Vault if Google shuts down?
If, for whatever reason, Google, or their holding company Alphabet, shuts their doors, storage of your Family Recipe Vault will be transitioned to another storage provider.
+ ARTICLE III. YOUR IRONCLAD GUARANTEE
When you receive your Ironclad Legacy Cookware, you can activate your Ironclad Three Generation Guarantee™ online. You will be asked to input your unique product number and some contact details. This number is all you, or your grandchildren, or your great-great grandchildren, will ever need to fulfill the guarantee. So if, through no fault of your own, your Ironclad Legacy Cookware should warp, crack, or lose its integrity in any way, the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd. will replace your pan for up to 100 years from the date of purchase.
III. a) Is this three generation guarantee thing for real?
Yep. Most companies will only honour their guarantees for the lifetime of the company. But since our unique guarantee extends beyond our own lifetimes, we have investigated how to fulfill your guarantee for 100 years. Read on, dear reader.
III. b) What happens to my Ironclad Guarantee if the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd. sells?
Should any of the founders decide to sell the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd., our contract with the purchasers will be dependent upon the new owners honouring all existing customer guarantees. Once agreed, you will be notified of the sale and will receive any new contact information required to fulfill your guarantee.
III. c) What happens to my Ironclad Guarantee if the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd. closes?
Although production would stop, your Three Generation Guarantee™ would remain. Should a guarantee be redeemed after the life of the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd., a replacement product from our storage unit at the foundry would still be available. If no stock remains, a refund will be arranged by a guardian appointed prior to closure.
III. d) What happens to my Ironclad Guarantee if the foundry closes??
While our foundry has been a leading New Zealand manufacturer for 50 years, things change. Should the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd. still exist, but the foundry not be in business we will appoint a new foundry to manufacture Ironclad Legacy Cookware. If, both the Ironclad Pan Company Ltd. and our partner foundry no longer exist, your guarantee will be facilitated by an appointed guardian. This guardian will take over both the claim and redemption of your guarantee.
III. e) What is an eligible claim?
Cast iron is one of the most durable and reliable ingredients for cookware. It can withstand decades and decades of standard daily use. Standard daily use, for the purposes of this guarantee, includes all cooking activities where the user is using the pan for its intended purpose — to prepare a meal in an oven, on a stove top, barbeque or small campfire. Basically, we’ll cover you if you drop it during cooking, but not if you drop it off a building. We’ll cover you if your cookware cracks or warps in a standard kitchen oven, not if you drop it into a volcano. If you have any further queries about what constitutes ‘standard daily use’, or have found an active volcano and no longer know what to throw into it, contact us at email@example.com.
III. f) How will my great-great grandchildren know about the guarantee?
If you forget to tell them about the guarantee during your long and happy life, we have cast the details of our guarantee in the bottom of the cookware. So whoever you leave your Ironclad heirloom to, will see it.
III. g) How will my great-great grandchildren contact you if the internet doesn’t exist in the future?
firstname.lastname@example.org and ironcladpan.com will remain in use until future generations update how people communicate. When those platforms are implemented, we will notify you of our new details via your Family Recipe Vault or the email we have on file.
III. h) Will you share my contact information?
No. The contact information you share with us is securely stored and can be accessed, removed, or updated by you at any time. This information will only be used in the very unlikely event that your cookware is no longer functional. We will track down the date of purchase to help you, or your descendents, get a replacement or refund.
III. i) Can I get a refund if future humans no longer cook with pans?
No. In the event that civilisation has evolved beyond using cast iron to prepare delicious meals, this will not, unfortunately, qualify as grounds for a refund. In this event, our recommendation is to put your Ironclad Legacy Cookware into storage. As humanity will eventually grow tired of roast beef capsules and virtual reality desserts and return to more traditional cooking methods. Then you can pull out your Ironclad Legacy Cookware and be all like, “Hey, I’ve got an idea!”
III. j) How will my descendants get a refund if future humans no longer use money?
In the event that humans have stopped using money, we will refund you in whatever currency future humans are using. If, for example, future civilisations are using hugs, you, or your descendants, would be paid in hugs — minus standard inflation rates from the date of purchase.
Right, that’s enough legal stuff from us. It’s time to grab your Ironclad Legacy Cookware and make some memories. But first, it’s your turn to do something. Consider it your half of the guarantee. Prepare your cookware. Take the time to follow the instructions online. It’s worth the effort. It will protect your cookware and set you up for generations of delicious meals.